The Missing Patient's blog

r a d i o h e a d thekingoflimbs

2011-03-06T06:33:00Z

I remember Pablo Honey in the "New Releases" selection of the one electronics store we had in the small town where I grew up. It was at that time I bought my first CD: Nirvana's In Utero. This was the beginning of music for me. I had never liked anything other than classical music until I heard Offspring's Smash and Nirvana's Nevermind. I was raised in the 1980's and had a general dislike for music. Then I became a teenager and heavy rock was in. I can still recall the first albums I bought on CD… Foo Fighters, The Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Silverchair's Frogstomp, and a compilation CD featuring three of what became my favorite songs at the time: White Zombie's 'More Human than Human' Filter's 'Hey Man, Nice Shot' and Radiohead's 'Creep.'

The Bends came out not too soon after and a friend I were walking home from school. He had just bought the album. He invited me over to listen to it and it was the first time I went over to a friend's house and just sat back, listening to an album. I didn't much care for the first two songs but by 'Nice Dream' and 'Just,' I started to really like what I was hearing. I remember 'Bullet Proof... I Wish I Was' moved me and how the album ended with Thom singing; "Just like your dad, you'll never change." I left thinking I had heard the entire album. My tastes then were much more on the dark and heavy side, being a rebellious teenager, but I could appreciate the album for what it was: good music. Sadly, I didn't care whether I was listening to good music or not, I wanted to be listening to what my mom would call "satanic."

I'll never forget the feeling left with me after seeing the music video for ‘Just.’ The mystery, I loved it! The video for 'High and Dry' was as good as the feature Hollywood films that were being produced at the time.

Still though, Radiohead remained just another band that I liked. Nothing more.

I'll never forget the moment Radiohead hit me... I was over at a girl friend's house and we were doing homework together on her bedroom floor. She told me to pick out a CD to put on play. There was only one listenable CD in her collection and it was The Bends. We talked more than we listened to the album until ‘Bullet Proof’ played and I told her to just listen to the song with me. It was still as beautiful as the first time I had heard it. She agreed, never have listened to the entire album. We then sat quiet as mice listening to the rest of the album. Soon ‘Street Spirit’ began to play. I had a panic attack-like sensation. It sounded like a song from one of my nightmares. I could see these images... slow motion black and white images of a horse and a man bleeding from his head. I remember seeing the girl's reaction to my state and knowing whatever was happening, she found it attractive. I made her play the song again and I focused all my energy on trying to remember where these feelings and dream-like memories first came from. Only before had this happened with David Lynch films, never with music. Haunting and beautiful. I had tears running down my face by the end of the song the second time through. She let me keep the album.

A couple months later I saw the music video for ‘Street Spirit’ and knew it wasn't my first time.
I could only figure that I must have been half asleep, watching Much Music, and they played the video, engraving it's images into my subconscious.

I bought OK Computer when it came out and it was not too soon after that I knew Radiohead was not only one of my favorite bands, but possibly the most advanced music of it's time. I still enjoy every track, a flawless album.

In 2000, KID A came out and though after the first listening I thought the band had maybe done a little too much LSD, trying to be like The Beatles, yet I couldn't stop listening to the album. "There's gotta be more to this." - I was convinced KID A was not a complete album. It wasn't soon after that I heard rumors that KID A was suppose to be a double CD. Then, finally hearing official news that Amnesiac, another album, was going to be released in 2001, I wasn't surprised. I knew there had to be more and first hearing Amnesiac, I fell in-love. Amnesiac was everything I wanted to hear.

Hail to the Thief I thought would be their best to date, especially since it was going to be fourteen tracks and the video for 'There There' was one of their best yet.
It started strong with ‘2+2=5’ but then ‘Sit Down. Stand Up.’ was a little too repetitive and ‘Sail to the Moon’ was one of the saddest, darkest piano pieces I had ever heard with Thom singing some of his most uplifting lyrics, it never sat right with me. I loved ‘Backdrifts,’ ‘Go to Sleep,’ ‘Where I End and You Begin’ but ‘We Suck Young Blood’ I thought was so creepy it wasn’t enjoyably to listen to. Hail to the Thief felt messy. Very hit and miss.

Out of nowhere, came In Rainbows and it was as if all other albums of the past had been tests, "Here you go, here's 10 perfect songs." Radiohead had found a place they knew we wanted to dwell and what a fitting name: In Rainbows. They had read our minds. Something thought to be an impossible task, Radiohead had out-done themselves.

It's now over two weeks since the release of The King of Limbs and the album is not sitting right with me. It feels like KID A all over again... where's the rest of the album?

1. Bloom - A piano echoes in delays, reminiscent to 'MK2' and when the drums come in, it sounds very much like this song follows 'Videotape.' The song begins In Rainbows and by the end has taken us back to those tight drum beats first heard on KID A.

2. Morning Mr. Magpie - Insanity. First heard the song on Radiohead TV's "The Most Gigantic Lying Mouth of All Time." The song had one of the most beautiful acoustic guitar riffs I had ever heard. Then, changing time, becoming creepy, Thom sang "Good morning Mr. Magpie, how are we today?" This was seven years ago. Now, what we have here, is an all out attack of glitched noises to over-load the senses and leave you listening closely, wondering if Radiohead has finally achieved in making you go crazy.

3. Little By Little - Again, another over-load. Seems like a song that would have fit perfectly on 'Amnesiac' between 'Knives Out' and 'Dollars & Cents' (instead of the bad remix of Morning Bell). Instead here, as a third song to a new album, it leaves you hoping for a brilliant song to follow it.

4. Feral - Yes, now it is official! Not only has Radiohead been exposed for really trying to drive their audience insane with this song but if you are like me, and enjoy this track, I'm afraid they have succeeded.

5. Lotus Flower - Ah, that's better!

6. Codex - Sounds like a prequel to 'Pyramid Song.' Suddenly this album has become brilliant.

7. Give Up the Ghost - Yes, yes, this is bliss!

8. Separator - Now, what do we have here? This is NOT a proper closing track. Not that any part of this album has a "proper" feel to it. It just feels wrong to end it here. Where's the rest of the album? Thom is even singing: "If you think this is over then you're wrong."

Unique Film Awards 2010

2011-02-14T07:00:00Z

20. Worse Film of the Year

‘Let Me In'

19. Best Small Role/Cameo of the Year

Barry Pepper as Lucky Ned Pepper in ‘True Grit’

18. Villian of the Year

Josh Brolin as Tom Chaney in ‘True Grit’

17. Best On-Screen Duo

Will Ferrell & Mark Wahlberg in ‘The Other Guys’

16. Best Action/Fight Scene

Big Daddy Warehouse Shoot-out from 'Kick Ass'

15. Best Comedy Film

‘The Other Guys’

14. Best Horror/Thriller Film

'Shutter Island’

13. Best Action/Adventure Film

‘True Grit’

12. Best Dramatic Film

‘Never Let Me Go’

11. Best Animated Feature

‘Despicable Me’

10. Best Sound Design

James Boyle for ‘Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’

9. Best Editing

Jonathan Amos & Paul Machliss for ‘Scott Pilgrim vs. The World’

8. Best Cinematography

Roger Deakins for ‘True Grit’

7. Best Visual Effects

Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley, Pete Bebb, Paul J. Franklin for ‘Inception’

6. Soundtrack of the Year

Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross for ‘The Social Network’

5. Actress of the Year

Natalie Portman for her role in ‘Black Swan’

4. Actor of the Year

Jeff Bridges his role in ‘True Grit’

3. Screenplay of the Year

Joel & Ethan Coen for their adaptation of 'True Grit'

2. Director of the Year

Danny Boyle for ‘127 Hours’

1. Most Unique Film of 2009

‘Black Swan’

Top 10 of 2010

2011-01-13T05:40:00Z

The Missing Patient's
Top 10 Films of 2010

Ceased

2010-12-28T03:40:00Z

The house planned to shoot 'Kiss the Kids Goodnight' flooded. Production has ceased.

'Beyond' the paranormal documentary was not approved for the grant that was applied for and production has also ceased.

However, production on 'The Missing Patient' album is still going strong.

Diary

2010-12-20T06:01:00Z

For the last 6 months I have been living in an apartment building. The apartment building is a senior's building, where I have been hiding. The landlord is Micheal Cain's doppelganger (or vise versa). He tells me that him and I will be the youngest people living in the building, that it is "full of a bunch of old farts too stubborn to be put in an old folks home."

The last tenant was a 72 year old woman who died in the apartment of heart complications. The corpse sat until he had taken notice of the smell, therefore the carpets were new. Now honestly, I couldn't have been more excited as parapsychology is something I have studied somewhat and admire. Unfortunately nothing paranormal had happened here in this 6 months. The refrigerator makes some strange noises at night, nothing more. Until now.

The last few weeks, after midnight at some point the elevator will close from the 1st floor and rise to the 4th floor, by itself. Or so it seems. Only two other people from myself have noticed this and both of them, friends of mine, after witnessing this decide to take the stairs, rather than get into to open and empty elevator.

I am going to try and document any other happenings. If I am able to find anything else, I will be keeping this as a diary, with videos to support my findings.

Page 1

2010-11-29T06:25:00Z

Originally, 'The Missing Patient' was a short story first written between 1999-2001. I loved the concept of the world created and felt that it represented all the different areas I wanted to explore, that all my work as a visual artist and what I call 'Random Dablings' (which I now use as lyrics), could be contained within that world.
I have now begun re-writing that original short story. I don't know what will come of it. Below is the first page.

Prologue

Our story takes place in the near future…

   Humanity has split in two. The far right and the far left. There is no in between, no balance, and all is chaos.
   The Old World has broken out in war all over the entire land, people fighting and dying for what they believe in. Violence and chaos reign but the people stay faithful to their beliefs and die, almost willingly because to them it gives them reason. They feel their existence meaningful, as they all walk in faith.
   Meanwhile, in The New World, the only people who are not atheists are in psych-wards, which are all quite empty. Reason and logic, science is their religion. People only fear death and this is why the largest corporations sell life-expansion plans. People here are all gamers and addicts to prescription medicine, which most popular brands are owned by the same corporations selling life-expansion (This same corporation also provides such services as cosmetic surgery and human cloning). Everyone uses supplement pills instead of eating a proper diet, “life-enhancing” drugs to enhance their gaming, never to know how it feels to generate real emotions and adrenaline from real life experiences. This is where our story takes place….

The Missing Patient

I
In the Northwestern Psychiatric Center, someone is waking up. Someone without an identity, without a single memory has woken up in a perfectly clean bright, white room with padded walls. They slowly realize that they are lying on their back on a very thin, long hospital bed. It frightens them how slow their muscles are to react as they try to sit up and get to their feet. The room has a good sized television, long white couch and a white wide, tall chair. In what resembled what once might have been a closet, a tiny bathroom had been set up, yet there was no door to close or a mirror to look into. Everything was white and padded. It would be difficult for a person to find a way to kill themselves in this space, they thought. Other than an obviously locked, big white padded door - there was nothing else to look at. The room was as clean and empty feeling as their mind.

The Setting Sun

2010-11-18T06:01:00Z

There is an untitled 10 minute documentary about a haunted house currently in-production.
Jeff Gant and Jeremy Heynen are co-directing the project which will be finished before the end of the year.

The music video which has been in post-production for 7 months is finally finished and streaming live. Helcion - "The Sun Sets For No One"

low

2010-11-07T08:07:00Z

the worse part about this whole "artist" thing are the emotional edges that have to be explored in order to achieve a greater sense & consciousness of what is human.

NIN Live: Head Down DVD 2 - Waiting for & More Re-Uploaded

2010-09-06T04:19:00Z

Being re-uploaded by popular demand...

Nine Inch Nails Live: Head Down DVD 2 - Waiting for & More

http://www.demonoid.com/files/details/2373645

NIN Live: HD (720p)

2010-08-20T20:58:00Z

http://www.demonoid.com/files/details/2353613

Being seeded by popular demand.
Thanks to all those who enjoyed these edits of 'The Gift' footage of Nine Inch Nails' "Lights in the Sky" Tour. It means a lot knowing that there is still interest out there for this project, as it was hard work and was done 100% for free.

Link is to the raw 720p HD file of 'Nine Inch Nails Live: Head Down.' Perfect to watch on iTunes.

Good Brakes!

2010-08-19T07:48:00Z

On my walk home today, I was listening to Jónsi on my headphones and staring at the light,waiting for it to give me permission to cross the street. For those of you who live in Kelowna, I was waiting to cross Bernard to walk down Bertram, the street I now live on. It had been a long day of walking, it was VERY hot, I was sweating and I was feeling a bit light headed from a little dehydration. The light turned and so I took two steps out to cross the road to get to my apartment building when a white suburban,which seemed to come out of nowhere, stopped suddenly, the bumper pushed up against my left arm. It was a woman driver and she was white as a ghost. I don't know if she was trying to run the red light or just failed to see it but if she hadn't hit the breaks the exact second she did, I would either be in the hospital with several broken bones or even dead right now.I stopped for a second and thought about how good her breaks must be. The vehicle looked brand new and shone in the sun like diamonds or a pure white horse. I looked at my arm against her bumper and the shocked look on her face. I took a quick second (which felt like much longer, as if time had stopped) to reflect on what had just happened and then continued to walk as Jónsi was singing in my ears; "No one knows you, til it's over. No one wants to, til it's over."

I turned off my iPod and looked back after making it safely across the rest of the street. Some guy on his bike starting screaming at her and cars were honking, "Do you realize you almost killed that guy you (I won't repeat the cuss words)." The driver looked like she was about to cry. I just kept walking. I didn't want to cause a scene and it seemed that others were doing that for me anyways.At first I thought, "I wish she hadn't had stopped." Because truthfully, I am more afraid to live than to die. But as I thought about it, the more I realized it was a selfish thought. I might not care about whether I live or die but that poor lady who almost hit me may have never been able to forgive herself if she had. That and tomorrow is my little brother's 6th birthday and it would have been inconsiderate to him if his big brother died the day before his birthday.

Funny... the things that go through my mind after almost being killed by a careless driver.

-jeremy heynen

Aug. 17th, 2010

It's Back!

2010-08-19T07:37:00Z

Sorry been offline for a couple months there, was traveling, meeting and working with new people and such.

Back now.

It seems there have been some requests to re-seed the Nine Inch Nails Live DVD produced last year. Wanted to seed the 720p file of the project, which would you prefer to be seeded first... the DVD or the 720p HD file?

Please let me know.

Thank you.

The Unique Film Awards 2009

2010-02-25T02:56:00Z

20. Worse Film of the Year

‘Paranormal Activity’

19. Best Cameo of the Year

Bill Murry in ‘Zombieland’

18. Villian of the Year

Stanley Tucci as George Harvey in ‘The Lovely Bones’

17. Best On-Screen Duo

Robert Downey Jr. & Jude Law in ‘Sherlock Holmes’

16. Best Action/Fight Scene

Alison Lohman vs. Lorna Raiver in ‘Drag Me To Hell’

15. Best Comedy Film

‘Pirate Radio’

14. Best Horror/Thriller Film

Lars von Trier’s ‘Antichrist’

13. Best Action/Adventure Film

‘Where The Wild Things Are’

12. Best Dramatic Film

‘The Hurt Locker’

11. Best Animated Feature

‘Coraline’

10. Best Sound Design

Harry Cohen for ‘Inglourious Basterds’

9. Best Editing

Emma E. Hickox for ‘Pirate Radio’

8. Best Cinematography

Anthony Dod Mantle for ‘Antichrist’

7. Best Visual Effects

Weta Digital for ‘The Lovely Bones’

6. Soundtrack of the Year

Christopher Young for ‘Drag Me To Hell’

5. Actress of the Year

Charlotte Gainsbourg for her role in ‘Antichrist’

4. Actor of the Year

Christoph Waltz his role in ‘Inglourious Basterds’

3. Screenplay of the Year

‘Inglourious Bastereds’ by Quentin Tarantino

2. Director of the Year

Sam Raimi for ‘Drag Me To Hell’

1. Most Unique Film of 2009

Terry Gilliam’s ‘The Imaginaruim of Doctor Parnassus’

Nine Inch Nails Ghosts I-IV Fan Film Collection

2010-01-29T03:40:00Z

The response is over-whelming, we couldn't be more excited!
29 hours of seeding the DVD now, still the only seed but over 600 people leeching, according to uTorrent.

NIN GHOSTS Fan Film Collection DVD

What is on the DVD?

In 2008, when Nine Inch Nails released their album Ghosts I-IV,a video of Trent Reznor was also released asking fans to create theirown videos for any of the 36 tracks on the album. Thus was born: Nine Inch Nails' Ghosts Online Film Festival, hosted on YouTube.

Thenin January of 2009 "The Gift" footage was released. 400G of HD videoshot from multiple angles from three different shows from their "Lightsin the Sky" tour. Fans were told to download the footage and edittogether their own DVDs at will.

This is when the idea was born. What if there was a 'Special Features'section on the DVD that included the best of the fan made videos forthe Ghosts Film Festival...? This is when the collection began.Contacting the video artists via YouTube, permission was granted andtheir videos were sent this way.

In the Spring of 2009, The Missing Patient released Nine Inch Nails Live: Head Down on DVD as a free torrent download through Demonoid.comwithout any special features, simply because they wouldn't fit on asingle DVD without lowering the quality of the live footage. This gavemore time to collect more fan Ghosts I-IV videos.

After a year of collecting videos from artists around the world, this morning The Missing Patient began to upload the Nine Inch Nails Ghosts I-IV Fan Film Collection DVD.

Unfortunatelythere are not videos for all 36 tracks. A couple of the tracks did nothave a decent video made for them, there were a few people who said "Unless your Trent Reznor, I'm not interested," and more than not, people were just too lazy (or busy) to ever get around to sending a copy of their video.

Thus we have what we have, which is Version 1.0because maybe, just maybe, in the near future some more videos for themissing tracks will be made or found and collected for a future versionon the DVD.

You can watch most of the videos chosen to be on the DVD here: Most Unique Works from the Ghosts Film Festival

Ireally hope you enjoy the DVD, I've worked very hard on it and am proudnot only to have had the opportunity to make this but to have workedwith such talented video artists.

Thank you to all participating video artists and Nine Inch Nails for allowing us to add visuals to your music!!

A Good Start!

2010-01-17T01:47:00Z

2010 is off to an excellent start!

'A Quick & Dirty Experience' has 3 videos up now and the hype is spreading fast!
www.youtube.com/user/QNDExperience

The Missing Patient has produced it's last video for Nine Inch Nails' Online Ghosts I-IV Film Festival.
32 Ghosts IV - "The Case" www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNPALX9dYlE
is starring Stephen Chmilar and directed by Jeremy Heynen.

Now that we have a video for 32 Ghosts, we can finish & finally begin to upload 'Nine Inch Nails Ghosts I-IV Fan Video Collection.'
As soon as we have a link it will be posted here and in the forums at www.nin.com

If you haven't yet heard of "Monkey and Apple", you've been left out of some of the finest comedy created in the last 3 years. We are going to be joining forces with the mastermind behind the You Tube channel in April. If you have not yet checked Monkey and Apple out yet, you should do it now: www.youtube.com/user/MonkeyandApple

You are now up to date.

HELIUM

2010-01-10T06:53:00Z

In December, we joined forces with a newly forming sketch comedy group, 'A Quick & Dirty Experience.'

We've spend the last month working on a variety of different projects, from shooting one music videos to editing another. As well as putting together the Ghosts DVD made by and for the fans of Nine Inch Nails. With the addition of shooting & editing video sketches, all work on the Untitled Paranormal Documentary ceased.

The project we have spend the most time on is one of the sketches for 'A Quick & Dirty Experience.' A project we are very proud to have been a part of. It is called HELIUM and can be found on our main site page via You Tube HD.

So it has been decided that the Untitled Paranormal Documentary will resume shooting at a later date.

Until then, every Fri night/Sat morning we will be uploading a new sketch from 'A Quick & Dirty Experience.'
This month will release NIN GHOSTS I-IV FAN VIDEO COLLECTION and at the end of the month, we are hoping to begin shooting a new music video for Helcion.

Out.

Who We Are

2010-01-10T06:48:00Z

I split
Apart from self
A spirit that wears no flesh
Unburdened now, it float’s between you
Can you feel it breathing in the corner of your eye?
Don’t look it in the eye, it reads everything it sees
If you let it
It will look, feel, see and know
The things you are not ready to let be known
Like memories
Kept secrets of a broken mirror
Don’t cry
If I had arms, I would hold you
Join us together on this adventure
I can see through all of our eyes
An army of artists
Standing as individuals
Working towards one single purpose
To enlighten the minds
Of the ones who’ve yet found a purpose to be
A light in the darkness
Sharing the beauty of truth
There is no you and I, this is who we are.

End of 2009

2009-12-26T09:30:00Z

THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2010...

3 New Music Videos! That's right we are in-production on a video for Kermheat's BPM, in post-production on a video for 32 Ghosts IV by Nine Inch Nails, AND pre-production on a top secret project you'll hear more about in March.

The long awaited release of NINE INCH NAILS GHOSTS I-IV Fan Video Collection on DVD! Now that Demonoid is back up, I can upload and start seeding the torrent for anyone who wants it, 100% free!

A QUICK AND DIRTY EXPERIENCE is a comedy troupe we have undisclosed ties with, that will begin posting their sketches on You Tube, My Space and such.

Last, but far from least, in 2010... The Truth Can No Longer Hide!

NIN Ghosts I-IV Fan Video Collection

2009-10-26T05:00:00Z

So - back in January, 'The Missing Patient' began a project that still has yet to be finished.

We are talking about the Nine Inch Nails Ghosts I-IV DVD of the most original & unique works for the online Ghosts Film Festival hosted on You Tube.

The plan was to try to have a release ready for Halloween.

Unfortunately, we never received copies for all the videos we wanted.

Even so, we've decided to release what we have collected so far, which both still covers more than half of the Ghosts I-IV tracks and will satisfy the average NIN fan.

As posted on the official nin forums:

"Just watched the first rough cut of the Ghosts DVD and it's way more intense to see these videos on a big screen with the stereo blasting louder than fuck, than on You Tube. I gotta say I'm impressed with the quality of the videos I've collected." -TMP

The videos collected all seem to flow together, seemlessly, from 7 Ghosts I - 19 Ghosts III. All the videos fit into a sort of theme based within the worlds created by the recent NIN albums.

We are still going to be looking for videos for the tracks we never found videos for:

20 Ghosts III
21 Ghosts III
26 Ghosts III
32 Ghosts IV

If videos are found, fitting into a NIN-based theme, for the tracks listed above, we will have a re-release.

Though for right now, we can't keep on waiting & don't want to keep both the video artists & fans waiting any longer.

Fallen Arches

2009-10-13T00:27:00Z

To say that the man woke up on the wrong side of the bed today would be a drastic under-statement. All the events that had been taking place, were not going in the man’s favour and today, of all these bad days, today he would find himself at the lowest point in his life.

She was gone. That was the first thing for him to notice. As soon as he opened his eyes he could see the closet had been emptied. The entire closet was always her, as she was a high class girl and he was a stay at home writer. The most pairs of anything the man had were pyjamas, closely followed by socks. All of his clothes fit, neat and nicely in a dresser at the opposite end of the room. He first words out of his mouth that morning, lying there on the bed, his eyes adjusting to the image of the empty closet, was “fuck.” It was the first of over 100 times he’d say the word throughout just the morning alone. Every time, saying it exactly the same, soaked in self-loathing and pity.

In the bathroom, to his surprise, his now ex-girlfriend had taken everything that she had bought herself. That meant everything in the bathroom, including the toilet paper. As you could guess, this is when he said the word again. Everything from the shampoo to the towels in the cupboard were all hers and so she had taken them.

In the kitchen it was the same scene, if not worse for she left all the emptied cupboards open, something the man had always been irritated by. Open cupboards. He screamed obscene words as loud as he could and it felt good. It felt so good he continued to act on this rage and began punching all of the cupboards. Some were hit so hard they busted right off the hinges and fell to the floor. He then continued to kick the lower drawers left open in front of him, busting them into pieces. With long, hard, deep breaths he let himself begin the process of settling down, though the fire was still lit behind his eyes.

He had a routine, you see. A special schedule that he and his body followed every single day. Over the years of learning to deal with himself and his unique ability to turn into nothing more than a beast, he knew he had to follow the routine in order from hurting those around him, or even worse, himself.

#1. Wake up when the body feels it’s been rested and only then. This meant turning off the phones, keeping the specially made blinds closed, and after a particular incident, buying his girlfriend her own bed to sleep in. The bruise healed quickly and thankfully she was a forgiving woman.

#2. 100mg of fluoxitine, 1mg of clonazepam (every four to six hours) , and a cup of cold coffee or an espresso and chocolate shake for caffeine intake. Of course, he still had his pills but they seemed pointless to take without the caffeine. Everything in the kitchen was hers, he did not even have a pot to boil water in.

#4. Morning bowel movement. Impossible without any toilet paper.

#5. Breakfast. Bread and Nutella sandwiches were his favourite. With a side of milk, of course. If not Nutella, then peanut butter and honey and if not sandwiches, then pancakes or French toast. There was only an empty carton of milk left in the fridge, not even a drop left in it.

#6. Tea while he turns on his computer, checks his e-mail and begins to write. The computer was his and had been untouched from the night before. He turned it on but was unable to connect to the internet. “That bitch!” he said to himself.

He opened a blank page and stared at it. He had 72 hours before the short story was due and had not found anything to write about, as of yet. It did not take him long to realize that he couldn’t write without some sort of inspiration. He talked to himself, “I need something… I can’t handle this. Not on my own. I am fucking miserable here.” he thought for a moment and it was interrupted by a growl coming from his stomach. “I need caffeine and I need it now!”

The man hated many things. Other than cupboards and drawers left open, one of them was having to interact with other people. What he found over time was that, as much as he disliked having to do it, these people inspired characters for his stories. He would usually take 2 clonazepam and bring the bottle with him, just in case. This was his ritual every single time he left his house. That morning he had not bothered to take any. As he was putting on his shoes and jacket, he thought about the pills waiting for him to take. He then remembered the state of the kitchen. Not even a drop of milk. Another one of the other things this man hated, was water. Yes, he hated water. Everything about it, every aspect of it. Lakes, the ocean, swimming, being on a boat, beaches, even drinking tap water that had not been boiled and flavoured; all these things he had went out of his way to avoid, all of his life. There was not even a second thought about his pills after he got over the disgust of realizing he would need to use water to get them down his dry throat. He slammed the door behind him to let the world around him know, he was pissed off.

After getting outside he was shocked to find that is was cold. He was not very good with time and dates but was sure summer had just ended, the cold outside made him even more angry. He began walking towards the store, something he had not walked to in about a year or two. He had fallen arches along with a hip alignment problem from a drinking and driving accident he had been blamed for. This was when he was seventeen. He had only been driving a year but the judge made sure that he would never be allowed to drive again. It also didn’t help that the 70 year old woman who had suddenly stopped her vehicle in front of him, died in the accident. He was sure that the doctor’s purposely left his legs unaligned in his hip when they were operating, as their own punishment for killing an old woman. They told him they wanted to break his hip to re-align his legs, which would cost a lot of money for the surgery and leave him in a wheel chair, until he re-learned how to walk. At first, he thought they were joking. In the end he told them were they could go and ever since has avoided walking long distances.

The store was at the end of the street, about two blocks away. He did not think this would be too much of a problem but after one block the piercing pain began running up through the arch of his foot, around to the back of his knees. Only half way and the pain had already started. He still had to walk back with the groceries. He did the only thing he ever knew how to avoid feeling the pain, as he walked, which was to smoke a little marijuana. He began to puff but the end of the joint came loose in his mouth and soon had inhaled crumbs of weed into the back of his throat. He coughed and spit and coughed and spit. Swearing all the while. Kids out in their yards with their parents, raking leaves, running and playing, laughing all the while the man is coughing, swearing and spiting on the side walk.

He continued on walking but could not keep spiting. He tried to fix the end of the joint but by the time he took a second toke, he was so desperate to get the smoke into his lungs, he pulled back too hard and resin began to leak out the end, covering his lips. This is another thing the man hated. A perfectly good joint ruined by resin leaking out the back into the mouths and onto the lips and teeth of the smoker. He threw the joint away and began to continue to swear and spit.

When he arrived at the store, the pain had lead him to walk quite strangely. To others it looked as though he was walking with shit in his pants. Some people laughed at him, others frowned as he wreaked of pot and had resin smeared over his lips.

Grocery shopping was exactly how he remember it. The same as it was five years ago, the last time he had done it. He took his time to get the things he needed. The floor of the store had much more mercy on his feet than the pavement outside. When he got to the cashier, he saw a sign he has never seen before, ‘One Bag Per Customer.’ As the cashier rang in his things he had to quickly re-evaluate what he really needed and what he was just buying because he wanted it. This was one of the most hardest things he had ever tried to do. People were lining up behind them and the pressure was on. So he gave up. “Only one bag, come on, could you spare two just this one time, I am walking and never been to this store before.”

“Sorry sir, but if I allow one person two bags then everyone will ask and expect me to give them two bags. There’s a reason there is that big sign up there.”

“I know, I am sorry, but I need all of this stuff, my girlfriend-”

She cut him off, “I’m sorry sir, one bag per customer, that’s the rule, were trying to save the environment you know.”

Her tone set him off. “Fuck the environment, I need two bags, all these other assholes are probably driving 4x4 trucks around, they only deserve to use one bag! I, on the other hand, walk, by choice, because the last thing our environment needs is another vehicle polluting up our air, so if anything I deserve one extra fucking plastic bag to walk my groceries home. Is one simple little plastic bag going to really cause that much more trouble for this fucked up world of ours?”

Security escorted the man and his one bag of groceries to the exit after the cashier began crying and everyone behind him began yelling at him. He had brought up one too many sensitive issues at the cashier at that particular grocery store, especially for a Sunday.

If you guessed that the bag broke on his way home, you are right. It did. And, of course, it was followed by foul words echoing through out the neighbourhood.

The enemy was close, the child could sense it. He pointed his gun in the air and looked over at his brother. Before he could say a single word, a bullet hole was made between His brother’s eyes and blood began to pour out all over his face. The boy fell to the ground, grasping his gun like it was an extension of himself. His brother, like everyone else in his family, was dead. he had seen them all die, with his own two eyes. the images never to leave him. He knew these events would haunt him for the rest of his life, which he already knew, would be a short one.

One by one, every single ally he had, fell dead around him. This was not a battle, it was a massacre. Within moments he knew he was the only one left alive. The shooting ceased and silence fell over the field.

He listened closely. The enemy was slowly making it’s way across the field, towards him and his dead allies. Once in a while a shot would ring out followed by the enemies laughter. The child began grabbing the dead bodies that surrounded him and buried himself underneath them. Soaked from head to toe in blood, he held his hands over his mouth trying not to breath. He could taste the blood that had made it’s way into his mouth and the smell of the corpses under the heat of the sun caused him to gag.

It seemed like it was taking forever but he could hear, the shots and the laughter from the enemy, getting closer. He had two options: Stay and hide or wait until the enemy were in close enough range and shoot as many of them as possible, before they shot him. This was a hard choice to make at seven years old.